spongebob.

Who is my hero? That would not be my parents or some political figure. That would be spongebob. Yes I am 20 years old.

Why Mr. Squarepants?
1.) He loves life- every aspect of it. Nothing is routine or mediocre about his days.
2.) He cares deeply for his friends. Patrick Star is retarded, but Spongebob loves him.
3.) Loves his job. In a couple episodes it mentions that Spongebob pays Mr. Krabs to work. That intrinsic all right.
4.) Innocence. Spongebob looks for the best in everyone. Evil doesn't exist in his vocabulary.

I think SMU agrees with me. I wrote my entrance essay about the best lesson I'd ever had or something. I wrote the entire thing about spongebob. And look where I am now...

name.

So my shower curtain is a map of the world. I turned it inside so I could study it while waiting for the conditioner to set in. You don't have to say it 'cause I already know. I'm super cool.

In Russia, the names of the cities are either incredibly simple, or mind-numbingly complex.

You can live in Orol, or in the town of Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskij.

You can live in Kirov or Severnayazemlya.

Hmmm. I count on my fingers. I can barely remember my address. I'll take Orol please. But think about this: the kids that grow up in those crazy cities are probably awesome at spelling and everything else. One day when I own the worlds most competitive pack of children spellers, you know where I recruited them from- Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskij.

tweet.

I feel like twitter was meant to be "short timely" blogs or ideas. Now that they're status updates, and I'm guilty of using tweets as such ever so often, I try to put an idea in my tweets. Here's a few for kicks.

If I was in possession of hay, I would literally be hitting it in this moment.

My aspiration was to get my last name to verb status, like Trump. Just realized my surname is a verb meaning to repeat. I need a new dream.

Bed bath & beyond does have bed and bath, but after reading this week's flyer I'm pretty sure its mostly beyond.

Snider plaza. 5 hours of live music is excessive. Neither my naps or walls are sound proof.

so is porn like "How its Made: Babies Edition?"

I need to get some amish bikinis soon. And by amish bikinis I mean turtlenecks.

Daylight savings time gives me a reason to waste 1 hour. Thanks Benjamin Franklin, for the incentive to waste time by saving it.

Christmas.

The following is a ficticous christmas newsletter from a family that could exist. Theoretically.

Dear, Everyone
This year, we moved into a new house, which is assuredly bigger than yours.
Our kid is the smartest
                       most athletic
                       attractive
                       individual in our
                                            small
                                            closed community.

Our dog is popular too. Just so you know.

We would have made this correspondence rhyme, but our rhyming concordance was lost in the move, and the kindle didn't have enough space to download an entire dictionary.
                                                Have a blessed year,
                                                       "That" family.

paradox.

Life is a big ole paradox.

I don't want to grow up. I don't want to stay young.

I want to live in the future
I want to live in the past.
I have to live in the present.

I desire things I can't see but I exist with the tangible.

I plan it all yet have no control.

The good news: I'm alive and ready for the only thing I'm guaranteed. Change.

anthropomorphic.

Could you imagine if animals had real jobs? The visual in my head right now is Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox. Those were some sharp dressed animals.

Parrott: court reporter.
Raccoon: McDonalds hamburgler.
Pigeon: door to door salesman.
Snake: Slick. Liar. So a used car salesman.
Sloth: homeless.
Praying mantis: priest.
Cat: the neighborhood nuisance.
Snail: Marshele, wait, I mean Marcele. (That's not the first time I've done that.)
Dog: the happy sexy fireman that everybody loves, want to be friends with, and secretly wants to be. (Does this character exist in real life?)

passion.

One translation of our political system reveals that it was built upon a realization that humans act upon self-interest. With that understanding, Madison and the other founders built the government to protect others against individual’s passions.

While government has worked decently in the past 200 years or so, I’m not sure if it can stand against these passions.

Phil Davidson: Stark County Treasurer. Never has a man been so “fired up” over simple math and balancing the budget of Stark County Ohio. Did he “fire something up” before making this speech? Most likely. (See what I did there?)



1.) He has a masters degree in communication (clearly) and he is not afraid to yell it at a group of citizens who miraculously showed up for a debate among candidates for the COUNTY. Less than 10% of Americans pay attention to county level politics, and I'm pretty sure Stark County now has 0%. (Or maybe Mr. Davidson is the new entertainment- 87% turn out next year?)

2.) I'm not exactly sure what he is angry about. Is there a lot of corruption in the middle of Ohio?

3.) I keep expecting him to yell "This is Sparta! STARK COUNTY!"

Jimmy McMillan: candidate for New York Governor. Potentially one of my favorite politicians of all time.



History Making Quote: "As a karate expert I will not talk about anyone up here because our children cannot live anywhere. Nowhere. There's no where to go. Why? You said it. The rent is too damn high."

Is there anything better than a handle bar mustache, leather gloves, and nonsensical sentences? I didn't think so.

Although they have provided a large majority of my entertainment the past week, I only hope that our system has the checks and balances to prevent whatever may stem from these passionate individuals.