superheros.

I’ve been thinking a little bit about superheros. I don’t know anything about them or their powers, but with the help of superhero database.com (yes, this is real) I’ve done a little research and have decided that the lesser known heros, are the “real” people we should be thanking.

1.) She-hulk: Her occupations are: lawyer, Magistra of the Living Tribunal. While I honestly have no idea what she does as “magistra of the living tribunal," I commend her for completing law school. That’s real persistance right there.

 2.) Juggernaut: Apparently he is 900 lbs. Can you imagine the crap he took in middle school? Also his parents clearly had access to a thesaurus and the WB’s Friday night smackdown. If anything screams abusive childhood, its a 900 lb boy whose name means bully.

3.) The Green Lantern: basically I have no idea what his powers are, but seriously, his name is the “green lantern”. If a kid wants to read a comic about anything, it must be the one that highlights light emitting devices prior to electricity.

I applaud these superheros, and the others for their fake powers and made up life scenarios. If there is anything the world needs right now, its a secondary imaginary world filled with more evil than our current one being fought by people with really messed up histories and powers that are almost always at one point used for evil. Thanks Marvel.